tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7442418216973639999.post1555919658059845358..comments2011-11-21T12:05:25.882-08:00Comments on LOR 101 McDaniel: What is the Noösphere?amachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14936561105401986045noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7442418216973639999.post-74906066353739785992011-09-19T12:59:53.953-07:002011-09-19T12:59:53.953-07:00Great!
25/25Great!<br /><br />25/25Lilia Murrayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05843958311373855616noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7442418216973639999.post-85081170209222772162011-09-07T20:22:12.044-07:002011-09-07T20:22:12.044-07:00Again, you have written a nice post! I love the Tw...Again, you have written a nice post! I love the Twilight and Star Wars examples! <br /><br />Just revise these few things so it reads a bit stronger:<br /><br />Add a verb in the first phrase, so it becomes a sentence and reads: "What are the geosphere, biosphere, and the noösphere?"<br /><br />Punctuation is always included inside the end quote. So, change yours to: "...before reading “Information as a Resource.” <br /><br />Since the word "rocks" is plural, change the pronoun to reflect that. Also, tweak the sentence a bit so it is a bit clearer, such as: "Rocks, even though they can take numerous years to shift, are not unchanging; humans and animals are also active, and information is changing constantly."<br /><br />Move the section:"Singing one of your favorite songs or recalling what the Statue of Liberty looks like is using the noösphere. If someone destroyed every copy of your favorite song, you would still remember it even though you could never physically put the CD into your CD player" so that it follows immediately after <br />"The noösphere is where we have our thoughts and it is intangible, unlike the geosphere and biosphere." This will make it flow better.<br /><br />Make the "All of these spheres interact together and are not static. Rocks, even though it can take numerous years, can move, humans and animals move, and information is changing constantly." be a new paragraph that precedes "The noösphere is perpetually evolving every day" section.<br /><br />Beautiful ending paragraph! Overall, nice work, Amanda!Lilia Murrayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05843958311373855616noreply@blogger.com